Getting Fit...Again!

Things are about to get real, I'm about to be painfully honest with you. My blog seemed to be what really helped me keep on track during my weight loss journey. I had a way to keep myself accountable by sharing with my friends and fam. And then...I got lazy. I'm not going to make a list of excuses, I'm just gonna give it to you straight.

(Don't judge my cleanliness by the bathroom mirror, the kids can't seem to keep their hands off of it.)

2/25/14 Current weight: 145*GULP*
15 lb weight gain since last May

I can't even believe I have the courage to post this but I have to be honest with myself and with you! THIS is what lazy looks like. THIS is what complacency looks like. THIS is failure to prep, failure to dedicate precious time for MYSELF, failure to be committed. I feel like I totally failed myself. I have been struggling for several weeks now mentally, the weight gain is to the point where things don't fit, at all. I've had to buy a couple new pairs of pants and let me tell you, I am not happy they are a size 8. Everything I currently own is a 4/6 or a small and its all just sitting there in my closet looking sad and neglected. That is no winter fluff you see in the picture. And yoga pants and sweatshirts are the only things I truly feel comfortable wearing right now.

Now don't get all "but you're still beautiful" on me. I'm awesome no matter what, I know this. But I went through a pretty life changing journey a couple years ago and now here I am, all my hard work gone to waste. It makes me angry. I can't even comprehend how I let myself get so out of control. I don't even feel like "me" anymore. 

So what is the point of this post? To tell you that I messed up. I'm not happy. A change MUST be made and the blogging and the working out and the clean eating all start today. It's going to be really hard, the beginning is always the hardest part but I am not about to go out and buy new summer/spring clothes! I'm back!

My goal