thirteen point freakin one...

So Steve and I were having a discussion last night about our crossfit experience the last two months. He asked me how I felt about the way I was training now v.s. being at a traditional gym like 24 hr fitness. All I had to do was pull up my sleeve and flex my bicep haha. Not a single "arm day" in two months, no curls, no tricep extensions and there is a significant difference in muscle definition. I have definitely gained muscle in just 8 weeks. Not only have I gotten better at certain crossfit workouts I once SUCKED at but I'm also lifting heavier than when we first started. But what's more significant to me than that is what crossfit has given me mentally. I am not only doing things that I never thought I would, but I'm gaining more and more confidence with each workout. On memorial day CFS did the hero wod "Murph." Run 1 mile, 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats, run 1 mile. I did that! It sounds rough, but you know what, it felt amazing! When I was done I felt like if I could get through that I could get through anything. I would have never had the confidence to do murph before crossfit.
It also helps to be surrounded by so many amazing people and a kick ass coaching staff. As a female it is so motivating to be around so many strong women. Who not only push themselves but also push and encourage the rest of us and eachother. Everyone wants to see everyone else succeed, you really can't beat that.

My half marathon is coming up THIS SATURDAY. And while I really haven't been distance running to train, crossfit has given me the confidence I need to know I can get through it. I've had a couple doubters here and there which pushes me more, but I feel ready. My legs are strong from squating, my endurance is up from burpees (& the 6000 meters I rowed yesterday!) and my mind is strong from the encouragement I've received and the physical changes I see. Now I just need to set up my ipod and I'll be good to go! Let's do this!

Get your mind right

I haven't gotten a workout in since Friday and my lack of physical activity is definitely effecting me. My mind just isn't right when a workout isn't part of my daily routine. I'm more tired than usual and I'm grumpy. How weird is it that not being active can make you MORE tired?? I wanted to go tonight after work but of course forgot my gym clothes and then realized there isn't even a 630pm class tonight, ugh. But I can't keep letting the days go by and letting myself feel worse and worse, so I'm hoping Steve will help me put together a little home wod that I can do in the garage. It's better than nothing right?
The weeks we have the kids make working out a little harder. Steve and I both can't go to the 5am class and going to the 630pm class means not being there to make dinner and help out with after school stuff. We've found ways to make it work before but it does require creativity and a little extra effort. So I guess I've just let myself get lazy this week and make excuses. But I just can't take feeling like this anymore, working out is hands down the best way to relieve stress and feel HAPPY. :-)
My mind is also flustered because I just realized how close my 1/2 marathon is. Only two weeks from this coming Saturday. Honestly I don't care how long it takes me I just want to finish it, to be able to say that I did it. It's been a goal for a long time, and I want to see it through. But I'll be honest, I'm feeling pretty intimidated. I haven't trained much running wise. I've just been crossfitting and made it to pena adobe once or twice to do the tower run. I feel like my body is capable, I KNOW my body is capable, but is my mind? The way the course is set up you are pretty much doing a 6 point something mile loop twice. So once you do one lap you cross the finish line, but to do the full 13.1 you've gotta keep going and do it all over again. It would be so easy to just drop right there and call it a day. But how crappy would you feel later on knowing you didn't do what you had set out to do?
I'm pretty much just in need of an attitude adjustment. It's not just the fitness stuff that I'm struggling with. I don't know if it's because of not working out or if I just need to check myself but I've just been out of it lately. Self doubting, and expecting too much of others and myself. Definitely not an attitude of gratitude. I'm glad I can at least realize it and admit it even if I'm not really sure how to fix it. Maybe a glass of wine? Haha jk, let's see if my home wod can do the trick!

"Skinny Minnie"...no thanks

The body type I hope to achieve through crossfitting and eating paleo is not exactly what most girls hope to achieve. Our society shoves one body type in our faces, skinny. In the past that's what I wanted, I just wanted to be THIN. But I've learned alot on this journey of mine and the goals I have for myself have changed significantly. Even before I joined Crossfit Solano I knew that I wanted the majority of my training to be about gaining muscle. Not just hours on end of cardio, but adding definition to my body. I want to be strong. Some people are baffled by this though. They think putting on muscle means being big and bulky like a body builder, this is not what I'm talking about. Have you seen these female crossfit athletes?? They look amazing, forget about looking like a victorias secret model, these chicks work hard and it shows. I don't have any sort of thought that this is something I'm going to achieve over night. Nor do I desire to look just like someone else anymore. I want to look like me, but a stronger me.

True that!

I don't mean for that picture to come off in some sort of perverted way but its true. Clothes may look good on a skinny person, but fit is what I'm going for.
I'm past the thought that some day I'll have slim slender legs, I'm embracing squats and lunges so that my legs are powerful.  The way I train, the way I eat, the way I want my body to change, it's hard for some people to get on board with that. They don't get it. As far as they're concerned I'm good where I'm at. I lost over 20lbs and to them continuing to eat and workout a certain way means I must be trying to lose more weight. I know people just don't get it, they think I'm chasing the same model look that every 14 year old girl is. My answer is always no, I'm not trying to lose weight, I want to be fit. I changed my lifestyle, it wasn't just a fad. It was a forever change that is now a part of who I am.

The shirt I wore to work today 5/9

Wearing the same top a little over a year ago.

Making Progress

Pushing yourself past a comfort zone can be scary. At crossfit if you can't do a pull up you learn on a band. As you get better you go down through the bands to the ones that help you less and less. Right now I'm in between. Well not really. The band I've been using is far to easy now. It holds too much of my body weight and gives me to big of a push without really having to do anything. The next band down makes me HAVE TO WORK. It's a struggle to knock out 5 pull ups. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal but I know that if I commit to doing my wod's with this blue band it's going to really impact my time. I'll be the slowest and I'll struggle. But it's NOT supposed to be easy! I have to tell myself that. I'm not going to get better if I don't try harder. I totally got called out today on how fast I can do pull ups on the green band. So now it's official, blue band from here on out (well of course until I can do without one).

Everyday I walk in to class I have to let go of all the fears that build up in my head. I make myself try everything. Even stupid hand stands. But some of those fears from early on are now things I enjoy. I no longer hate box jumps, I've discovered I can jump a lot higher than I thought, and while I still haven't gotten double unders down, I'm pretty good at jumping rope (singles).
The mind is a powerful thing. I think it's why so many people don't make the changes in their lives they want to make. We let our mind defeat us before we even give ourselves a chance to try. We think of all the negatives. Like when I first tried to do a hand stand I really didn't even want to attempt one. My mind told me I couldn't, I would look stupid, I'd fall on my head, etc. But I tried it. And trust me I looked stupid, I fell on my head, but I kept trying. I'm not there quite yet, but just like with pull ups, I'll get there.

Instead of starting a consistent workout schedule or clean eating plan, people let their minds convince them of all the reasons why they can't. It's too hard, it's too much work, you don't have time anyways, It won't matter you won't see results. But these things are NOT true. You learned how to do your job didn't you? On the first day of work you had no idea what you were doing. But you learned as you went along. And with each day you got better and better at it. And now you're training the new employees. Learning to workout and eat clean are the same thing. You won't know what you're doing at first if you're new to it all. But with time you'll get better at it, and you'll learn as you go. There will be bad days, but over time you'll get stronger and stronger and it will be effortless and a part of every day life. It's that initial fear that we have to overcome.
If there's something in your life you want to change or try, give it a chance. All the wishing and hoping in the world won't make anything magically happen, you have to go out there and get it.