Though she be but little, she is fierce.

Today was one of those days that I just wanted to be over. It went to hell first thing in the morning and I was battling a headache and anxiety all day long. The best thing I could have done for myself was head to CFS right after work, and throw all that stress into my workout, and I did just that. I was determined to really do work today. Few weeks back our wod was to find our one rep max clean, and I stopped at 80lbs, which I guess for being newer is decent. Well today our wod was a 10 min amrap (as many rounds as possible) cleans and box jumps 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, etc. Since that day I haven't cleaned that much weight again, until today. I did my cleans with 80lbs, which was my one rep max! I was so pumped when I was done, it feels so great to see yourself getting stronger and I was glad that I had channeled that stress I had building up inside into my workout. Every little gain I see makes me feel more and more confident and leaves me wanting more.

So through the past year and a half as I've changed my body and my lifestyle of taken up some hobbies that I never would have been into when I was heavier. I've been willing to try more and more and really push myself and accept a challenge. I've proved so much to myself and others what I'm capable of and it feels so good to gain confidence from those experiences. One hobby that Steve has always had is mountain biking, and while I pride myself of not being afraid to try something new, mountain biking hasn't really appealed to me. Every time he comes home from a ride he's bruised and cut, with all these crazy stories of falling over, flying over handle bars, etc. LOL. How is that fun? On Saturday I suggested we go hiking at Mt. Tamalpias, my idea to hike got turned into mt biking. Before I knew it we were at the top of a trail and I was flying down this crazy ass trail, ummmm no! I didn't trust the bike, I didn't trust my skills, I didn't trust the trail, or my brakes. The downhill was terrifying. Seeing other bikers just fly down the hill made me feel like such a wimp but I just couldn't find it in me to be ok with just flying down this trail. The uphill was physically hard, but not scary cuz well you're going up so it's alot slower haha. I felt bad because Steve is such an experience rider and I was really holding him back, I knew it was something he wanted to share and be able to do together, but I just could not get it together. I said I wouldn't do it again but maybe if I start off a little slower and get comfortable with a bike, it could be better the next time around. I don't like saying I can't do something, just like with my hand stands, I'll have to keep practicing to get more and more comfortable and confident.