No Stopping Me Now

For a while now I was really feeling like I needed to find a hobby. I really wanted to find something that I was good at that I would enjoy. Scrapbooking is boring to me, and I'm not much of a collector, I have no artistic abilities, and I've tried the music thing, but it dawned on me this week that I now have a hobby, fitness.. It's something I enjoy doing, I workout as soon as I get home from work, and I like it. But running, now running is what I am good at. It didn't start out that way though. Running started because I have a crazy dog who as way too much energy for her own good. So I started out with 2 miles (which I could barely get thru) and then when my goal changed from my dog getting exercise to me losing weight. So I started pushing myself, running further and further. And now here I am training for a half marathon! This past saturday I ran 7 miles in 70 minutes. This is the furthest I have ever run in my entire life. No stoping, no walking, just running. I lucked out because Saturday ended up being a gorgeous day and I was able to run around the lagoon at Lagoon Valley Park aka Pena Adobe. I shocked myself with how "easy" the run felt, I really expected to struggle through it but I felt great and motivated the entire time. I was shocked when I was done and looked at the time, did I really just run 10 minute miles?!
And as I walked the mile back to my car I thought to myself, this is it, this is what I'm good at, this is MY hobby. So now I'm super excited for this coming Saturday to get here so I can run 8 miles.

For those of you curious about my training schedule this is what it looks like:

Week	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
1	Rest	2 mi	Rest	2.5 mi	Rest	3 mi	2 mi EZ
2	Rest	2 miles	Rest	3 mi	CT or Rest	4 mi	2.5 mi EZ
3	Rest	2.5 mi	CT	3 mi	Rest	5 mi	2 mi EZ
4	Rest	3 mi	CT	4 mi	Rest	6 mi	3 mi EZ
5	Rest	3 mi	CT	3 mi	Rest	7 mi	3 mi EZ
6	Rest	4 mi	CT	4 mi	Rest	8 mi	3 mi EZ
7	Rest	4 mi	Rest	4 mi	CT	9 mi	3 mi EZ
8	Rest	4 mi	CT	3 mi	Rest	10 mi	3 mi EZ
9	Rest	5 mi	CT	4 mi	Rest	11 mi	Rest
10	3 mi EZ	4 mi	Rest	3 mi	CT	12 mi	3 mi EZ
11	Rest	CT	Rest	3 mi	CT	5 mi	2.5 mi EZ
12	Rest	2 mi	20 minutes	Rest	20 minutes	Race Day!	Rest Day!

Today is the start of week 6 for me. Today is also the start of week 7 of P90X. Mon, Wed, Fri I do P90X strength training/abs and usually cardio like the elliptical or stationary bike. My nutrition has been on point and as far as daily calories are concerned, I've learned to just listen to my body and adjust accordingly. It seems like alot, and like I would be exhausted but because I'm getting the right amount of sleep and eating clean my body can handle it. Granted some Sundays i'm pretty wiped out and just skip my run.

Can't stop, won't stop

Maybe my problem is that I see myself everyday, or that I'm a bit too hard on myself. It's just frusterating me to feel like I've given up so much and been working my butt off for months, and then not see the results I'd hope to have by now. This is why I am always second guessing myself. I mean I've been doing this whole eat healthy workout daily routine since December, more seriously Jan and Feb. It's been almost 3 months since I've eaten things like pizza, fast food, fried foods, pasta, soda, ice cream, cookies (sweets have been my only exception since i've indulged on special occasions) so why have I only lost one size?!
I'm not feeling discouraged, I mean I have no intentions of stopping what I'm doing, I've come so far. But man I just wanna get down one more size!! Haha. I've just got to stick to my mantra of one day at a time. I have to keep in mind that I have to change up my cardio so that my body doesn't get used to me just running all the time and I really have to bring it during my p90x strength workouts.
As far as today goes, I can say I'm happy with what I ate. I had enough fuel to get through my 4 mile run right after work and I satisfied my craving for mexican food by having chicken tacos (baked skinless white meat, 2 corn tortillas, salsa), black beans and veggies for dinner. Every meal/snack today was a good one :-)
I also knocked out my 4 mile run (which is part of my half marathon training) like it was nothing and spent 20 extra minutes after my run walking on an incline. So yay for Thursday 2/10/11! I'm ready to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. I wanna be excited to go swimsuit shopping this year!!

Getting back on track

So the past few days have really been a struggle for me. I think partly because I have allowed myself to put unnecessary pressure on myself and forget the real reasons why I'm doing all of this. Instead of keeping in mind my long term goals, and healthy lifestyle change I let myself get wrapped up in the mindset of just wanting the weight off fast, and "dieting" in an unhealthy way to just get rid of the pounds as fast as possible. But I woke up today with a fresh outlook on it all. Thank goodness for a boyfriend who is not only always encouraging but who also reminded me that I just have to focus on each day as it comes. That I can't worry about what I did or ate yesterday and whats going to happen tomorrow. Just like with other aspects of life, I have to focus on how I can make today great.
Before I went for my run this morning I noticed a P90X post on my Facebook wall that said, "Think twice before deciding what to eat and why, making sure that it is healthy and will provide you good nutrition, fill you up, and give you long-term energy."
After reading that, and having Steve's pep talk fresh in my mind I felt so much better about getting back to my regular routine and feeling good about it. All I need to do is focus on today. Think about the foods I'm eating today, and the workouts I'm doing today. It's not rocket science and there doesn't need to be all this pressure and stress. Being healthy really is quite simple when you think about it. 

Super Bowl Sunday = Super Pig Out

I don't even know where to begin, my thoughts are all over the place and guilt has taken over. This whole cheat meal/day concept just doesn't sit well with my conscious. Super Bowl Sunday is the ultimate guilty pleasure day, in my opinion it tops Thanksgiving on the gluttony scale. Chips, dips, bread, wings, beer, soda, pizza, crackers, tacos...I mean who eats healthy on this day? Who's watching the game with a salad and some water? Not me, thats for sure! Now any normal person probably got through yesterday just fine, but I don't consider myself very normal when it comes to food and my self image (which i'm working on). Did my three mile run yesterday morning, and ate a healthy breakfast, so you would think I would be ok with a little indulgence since I had worked out. I was at first, and then as I was cleaning up after friends had left I looked at all the types of food I had put in my mouth and I was not happy with myself.
Now this whole blog is supposed to be an outlet for me, a place to be honest with myself and you the reader. So here is a brutally honest glimpse into this crazy head of mine....
I felt gross after I recounted all the things I ate, checking myself out in the mirror didn't really help much either, obsessing over every flaw I hate. There was no way I was going to sleep after such an oink-fest, so I did what every other obsessive person would do, hopped on the treadmill at 10pm. Two quick miles to make myself feel a little better. Thank goodness I had the brilliant idea of bringing all the left overs to work and sharing with my co-workers. Everything went so now I don't have to worry about chips and dips calling my name while i'm at home. But I hate this feeling I have about trying to be perfect. I can't even enjoy the things I like anymore because I'm putting so much pressure on myself. I have all these goals I want reached by certain dates and I'm letting it all take over a little too much. I've seen changes in my body, but I want more. I know its good to push yourself, but at what point does pushing your hardest become obsessive?