Week 5

This is going to be short and sweet because today sucked, but I need to post an update.
I can't believe it but today is the start of week 5 of P90X! So yay for me! Did chest/tri/shoulder today and I know I'm gonna be HURTIN tomorrow. It was intense and its funny how you work even harder when you're upset. I am currently also training for a half marathon. So with a new running schedule my weekly workout schedule has changed slightly but in a good way and I still continue to bring it. That's all I've got tonight, maybe later in the week I'll go into a little more detail and come up with something funny and witty to say.

Forget physically hard, this is a mental challenge

Unfortunately this week is not getting any better for me. Don't get me wrong my workouts are on point, but I just can't get my mind right. Maybe the problem is that I'm thinking about this all way too much. Maybe I'm reading too much different information and over analyzing. I keep questioning If I'm eating the right things, the right amount, at the right times. Should I work out twice a day, should I push myself to run 6 miles instead of 5, should I even be running every day? OMG by brain is on overload! Not to mention I'm feeling fat this week. I don't know what it is but I feel like for how much I'm doing I should be really feeling and seeing some major results and I'm not. I feel like must hasn't changed in the past week and a half. It is hard to judge though just by looking in the mirror, so maybe a trip to buy a scale is in order for a real reality check. I'm not discouraged to the point where I want to give up, I want to keep pushing. I think i'm just really feeling anxious to see the results I want. Maybe I've put a little to much pressure on myself to look a certain way by the time my bf gets back (5 more weeks). I keep trying to remind myself that this isn't some instant over night thing. That this is a serious life change, and to lose this weight in a healthy way it's not going to happen instantly. But wouldn't it be nice if we could just snap our fingers and make it happen? My life would sure be easier.

Week 4 Slump

Today has been a struggle for me, mentally. Most days these past few weeks I have been pumped! Super excited to wake up and work out and just as excited to do my run once I'm off work. I've not felt like that at all today though. I don't know if it's because I have a case of the Monday's or if I just needed the right push to get my mind right. So much has been on my mind since I started this quest. I spend hours reading blogs, reading beachbody.com, perfecting my eating schedule, trying to make multiple workouts fit into my day, researching nutrition, measuring foods, planning meals, tracking calories, oh man the list goes on and on. It's become my focus. Some of my friends think it's somewhat obsessive, and to someone not in my shoes I can see how it would seem that way. But to get myself to where I need to be and really be dedicated for once in my life this is what it is taking.
But today I just didn't feel that drive, I felt complacent, and that scared me. Was I about to blow it all for myself by just not caring today?! To make matters worse, someone thought it would be a great idea to bring pizza to work today. REALLY?! Today has felt like one giant test. I can proudly say I passed the pizza test! I was starving when it arrived so I quickly took off for lunch, headed home and had my turkey & veggie pita. But I continued to drag through the afternoon, dreading my evening workout. And then I signed on to blog, but first I noticed that on one of the blogs I follow there was a new post. And it was the push I needed!

"no matter whether you are doing p90x or just going to the gym, the daily motivation to get up off your ass and go comes from not settling. not settling for the body you have. the weight you are at. not settling for being at risk for diabetes or any other disease/illness. the motivation comes from not settling for where you are at, but to keep pushing for bigger and better things."  From: http://aliciagirardeau.blogspot.com
Thank you Alicia!

This reminded me why I started this whole thing to begin with, because I wanted bigger and better things, because I didn't want to settle for the body I have. So dangit I'm not going to settle. I'm going to go home, get my running shoes on and hit the pavement. I'm going to plan out tomorrows workout schedule and food. And it's going to feel a million times better when I sit down on the couch tonight, knowing what I accomplished today.

Daddy's Girl

My dad and I have so much in common, we crack up about the same silly things, we could people watch for hours, we love the same movies, we agree on politics, and we both LOVE sweets. My dad and I share so many great things but we also share a similar body type. And we can't say no to sweets, even tho we know right where its gonna go. I guess along with his sense of humor he also passed along his sweet tooth. And unlike lots of girls who gain weight in their hips and thighs, I gain mine right in the middle :-(
But one of the things I admire most about my dad is his work ethic. I don't know many people that work as hard as my dad. When he puts his mind to something he makes it happen.  With work, with school, and all the things he does for other people, he always gives 100%. Now my dad has been a fit guy for many many years, heck he used to own a gym. But back in the day he made a life change and transformed his body just by working hard. And now here I am making my life change. I've been working hard but I think it's time to work a little harder, this extra flab on my waist has got to go! So starting tomorrow morning it's 2 a days for me. I'm not sure that doubles will happen everyday but every day that I can make it happen it will. My dad did it and I know I can too. Maybe after all of this, I'll be able to teach him a thing or two.

Cardio = Love

So I need to start off this blog by saying I am so glad Steve's stage is flying by. More than halfway over and I'm counting down the days til I get to pick him up at the airport! It's also nice knowing that I'm going to have a couple weeks off when he's back. Vacation time in Oregon and then its back home to pack up the apartment and settle into a house (which I haven't found yet, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the right thing will come along.)
I think a major part of the reason that time seems to be flying by is because I am occupying my time with something so positive. It's a big change that has sort of taken over my life. And who knew putting so much focus into myself and my health would lead me to learn other things about myself and desires for the future. This is bigger then just working out, this is a life change. And boy is it exciting!
Ok so onto what I really want to talk about tonight. Cardio. For most people cardio is a love hate relationship. They know its good for them but dread it because it's hard work. For me it's a love love relationship. I feel so great when I'm done running, or pushing myself on the elliptical, or doing plyometrics. I don't just feel good because I know I worked hard, but it makes me feel happy and relieves all the stress and crap I had to deal with at work all day. I believe that if everyone spent AT LEAST 30 min a day doing some serious cardio, there would be alot less people on anti-depressants. It's impossible to not feel happy when you're done with a workout. And that is now what keeps me working out. Not only because I'm getting in shape but it feels good! The list of positives just goes on and on. How many pro's can you think of that come along with sitting on the couch watching tv all night? None right? So put down the remote and the carton of ice cream and get to work!
My assignment for this week is fine tuning my eating. I don't think my caloric intake is quite right yet and I've really got to stick to eating every 3 hours on schedule. I still can't get over that, when I started this whole thing I never thought I would be eating so much. LOL.

A day of rest

Cheat meals and rest days are clearly going to be hard pills for me to swallow. In my mind I had thought that I would be ok with eating foods not in my plan if the occasion called for it. I mean I work my ass off all week long so whats it going to hurt? I can tell myself that all I want, but living it is another story. Last night I partied with my bff's fam. I ran and did p90x legs & back yesterday so I burned some serious calories and wasn't too worried about indulging a little. Now alcohol is one of those things I've given up, but it was a party, and who can say no to Tarantula tequila?! Tisk tisk. I munched on snacks so when dinner came I really wasn't hungry, which worked out well. I was able to try a little portion of everything but I wasn't sitting there licking my plate clean. However, after I learned what was in the INCREDIBLE mac and cheese I had just taken a few bites of, I knew there was NO WAY Sunday would be a rest day.
I woke up this morning had my bowl of Fiber One bran cereal with banana slices, watched a couple episodes of Four Weddings, and was just trying to relax and enjoy my morning. But all I could think about was what I had eaten last night. I knew I wouldn't feel better if I didn't get in some sort of workout today. So I dragged myself off my comfy spot on the couch and sweat it up on the elliptical for 40 minutes. If I hadn't of done that I would have been thinking about it all day. So now I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to let myself have rest days. I know its really something my body needs, I mean these workouts I'm doing 6 days a week are no joke. Right now my number one priority is to get in shape in the healthiest way possible, so that I can show people that it CAN be done with some hard work and dedication...so maybe I need to practice what I preach and REST.

Losing weight means eating more??

So i've done a little research, and actually sat down and read the P90X nutrition book. Apparently I'm not eating as many calories a day as I should be since I'm working out so hard. So now comes the task of making myself eat more to ensure my metabolism does not slow down. This meant a 7am trip to Safeway before getting ready for work this morning, to make sure I had the GOOD foods I need to make it through the day. And can I just say that it is completely ridiculous that everything good and healthy for us costs 2x more than all the crap and junk most people buy.
Anyways, along with eating more calories, ugh, I'm also trying to only eat foods from the first two tiers of Michi's Ladder http://www.beachbody.com/category/michis_ladder.do
At first I had intended to let myself have one cheat meal once a week, If I had worked hard all week long. But to be honest I'm at the point now where I'm enjoying what I am eating, and cheat meals will only come into play on occasions when they are needed, like a party or family gathering.
Unfortunatlely the snack I had planned for this morning was sabotaged, because someone swiped the apple I had at my desk. So now just my almonds will have to do.

It's never been effortless

Those girls who can eat and drink whatever they want, whenever they want, and maybe waltz into the gym whenever they feel like it, and remain a size 2...I'm not one of those girls. At every point in my life that I've been "thin" it was because of the busy athletic schedule that I had. In junior high I was running cross country and dancing, in high school it was dance, basketball and soccer. Hours of practice everyday after school was just something that came along with being on a team. I never looked at it as forced exercise and because it was keeping me in shape, I never really worried about what I was eating. Needless to say, things started to change once I graduated and suicides were no longer apart of my afternoon schedule. Lets also factor in poor eating habits, and all the stressful drama that comes along with being a girl. Two years after graduating and I was two sizes bigger, and stayed that way.
Now let me say that I do not think I'm "fat." Do I think I'm in great shape? No. Do I think I'm the size I should be? I know I'm not. There have been many attempts made the past few years to get myself back on track, to be healthy and exercise regularly, and it always lasted a little while but then I would cave into temptation.
Now with Steve being gone since December, I needed a hobby, something to pass the time. So I started taking my dog every night for regular runs, nothing crazy, just 2 miles. Well after Christmas I had a ton of gift cards and went shopping. Well apparently all this running was paying off because for the first time in a LONG time trying on all those clothes was fun! AND, I was a size smaller.
Now that was the motivation I really needed to get serious and kick things up a notch. If just running a couple miles a day was giving me results, then what would changing my eating habits do...or incorporating P90X. So now here I am, week 2 of my intense journey. I've increased the miles I run and am using P90X 3 days a week for my strength training. I look in the mirror every night and I see results. I'm excited about clothes again, and shopping and eating clean. I look forward to my brutal workouts and feel a sense of pride when I'm done each night.

So what the heck is the point of this blog? To be honest, I don't really know. Maybe a way to keep myself accountable. Maybe a way to get out my frustrations or share my triumphs. I'm just kind of going with it and seeing where it takes me. Motivational words, tips, and any other positive input is encouraged. I'm trying to be as honest with you as I can find the courage to be, so please be gentle with your comments :-)